


coffee date

by Yoshichao



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 08:38:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4428689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoshichao/pseuds/Yoshichao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyouko hasn't seen Yui in years - not since before the Hope's Peak incident - so it's understandable that her oneesama would have questions for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	coffee date

**Author's Note:**

> the world needs more yui samidare
> 
> set post-DR1 but the AU is that the world is less destroyed than it is. or they're? rebuilding? idk. also sorry if yui seems ooc. blame the people who arent translating the kirigiri novels

“Are you going to finish that?”

The brunette pointed at the half empty cup of coffee in front of Kyouko with a sparkle in her eye. Kyouko sighed and pushed it to her oneesama’s side of the table, where it was accepted with a loud “thank you!” and chugged down.

Amazing.

“Ahh! You sure know some good coffee shops, Kyouko-chan!” Yui placed the drained mug on the table and grinned wide. Kyouko merely shrugged. Yui already knew her stance regarding coffee, anyways - she drinks it to keep alert, not because she actually _likes_ it. The brunette already tried to offer suggestions for flavours that actually tasted good, but the younger girl was stubborn with her tradition.

Yui steepled her fingers together, face sobering into a serious line as she leaned her head against her hands, propped up by elbows. “The first meeting of the _True_ Triple-Zero Class Detectives Club is now in session. Our first order of business is…”

Oh boy. This was another silly Yui thing, wasn’t it? Kyouko would be prepared, no matter what weird thing she said. ...It was assumedly some sort of serious and deep question about the horrors of Hope’s Peak, especially considering they were sitting here today to both visit casually and relay all the lost years to each other. Yes, after hearing about the mutual killing and The Tragedy, Yui Samidare would certainly want to hear all about it right off the bat. About all that death, and despair, and--

“Tell me who your crush is.”

“...Excuse me?”

Yui huffed, narrowing her eyes at her friend. “I know you have one.”

“I do _not_.”

“You cannot hide such things from Great Detective Yui Samidare. She knows all and sees all.”

“Sounds like you’re more akin to a fortune teller or an oracle than a detective, then.”

Yui snapped her fingers and grinned. “ _O-kay_!” she exclaimed in English before returning to Japanese, “let’s start there. Fortune teller-kun, he’s one of your friends, right? Tell me about him!”

Kyouko sighed, a hint of a smile on her face. “Yasuhiro Hagakure. Good heart, rather foolish and not ever the brightest in the room. But he knows when to lighten the mood or distract us all from a bleak situation. He certainly has some sort of grasp on human emotions, considering all the people he scammed out of money. ...Though his insane predictions do come true every now and then, so perhaps there is some merit to his _divine powers_...”

“D’ya like him?”

She looked at the silver-haired detective expectantly, head in hands accompanied by wide, curious eyes. Kyouko snorted - a strange sound to bubble out of her throat, but she was comfortable enough around her oneesama to act in such an undignified manner.

“He’s a friend, but admittedly the last I would go to if I needed help. ...For the final case, everyone thought I had been the victim since I had been absent for the investigation. During the class trial, he thought I was a ghost.”

“Are you serious?!” The brunette spat out a cackle and needed a moment to collect herself. She was wiping away tears - hiccups of giggles still bubbling from her throat - when she finally spoke again.

“Okay okay, I see what you mean. He’s not your _special soulmate_ , then. That much is obvious.” She crossed her arms and spoke proudly. “This level of reasoning is possible for Yui Samidare!”

Kyouko chuckled, instinctively reaching for her cup before remembering it was empty. Perhaps for the best, because she could really go for an iced tea right now. The desire for bitter coffee was gone, and now the silver-haired woman just wanted to relax a little bit.

The younger detective rose from her seat, glancing towards the machines. “I’m going to get another drink. Did you want something as well?”

“More coffee, please! Oh, and a juice! _Fruit punch_ if there is any!” There was that uncanny English again. Boy, her oneesama was a dork.

She returned soon enough with the requested beverages and the conversation picked up before Kyouko could even sit down.

“Ne, wasn’t there an olympic swimmer who escaped with you?”

“Yes, that would be Aoi Asahina.”

“Do you like her, then?” Yui snickered before raising her hands defensively. “You know I don’t judge!”

Kyouko quirked a brow, a wry smile on her face. “I know you don’t, _‘I’m-married-to-justice’_ -san.”

“What can I say? Justice is a temptress with such a _sensual_ vocabulary. Whisper more sweet nothings into my ear, Justice-sama…!”

Kyouko shushed her friend between giggles, aware of the stares that her friend’s increase in volume had attracted. Once they both had reasonably calmed themselves, Kyouko continued, still unable to suppress a small smile.

“Asahina-san is a friend as well. Very enthusiastic and has a strong will. Aside from the obscene amount of sports she plays, she is incredibly similar to a normal girl. She certainly isn’t unintelligent, but there are plenty of things in the world that she is clueless about. She’s willing to give up her life and the lives of others for a dear friend.”

Yui let out a low whistle. “Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

“I was not the dear friend.”

“I never said you were!”

Kyouko sighed and shook her head. “Nevertheless… She is very kind and sweet. Out of the five of them, she is the one who drops by my apartment unexpectedly the most. She even brings food and movies and treats it like a small party…”

“She likes ya.”

The younger detective sighed again and narrowed her eyes. “She is my friend. Very helpful - I started using the gym initially because of her encouragement. She invites us to all sorts of activities: yoga, sports games, classes...” She paused and smiled wryly. “And it’s because of her that we’re all going to gain weight from too many doughnuts.”

“Do _not_ tell me that the olympic swimmer Aoi Asahina eats a lot of doughnuts.”

“She does,” Kyouko confirmed, chuckling at Yui’s disbelief. “I assume it’s a habit she developed to cope with stress during the...  _events_ that occurred Hope’s Peak Academy. Whenever I see her, she has two boxes of them. There are rarely leftovers, but I often get stuck with them when there are. And I don’t want to waste food, so…”

“Ehhhh, so you didn’t make those cute lil doughnuts?” Yui pouted and tutted in disappointment. “I thought my little Kyouko-chan had become a master chef after all these years.”

“You overestimate my abilities.”

Yui hummed and grinned after a moment of consideration.

“I should teach you how to cook.”

“ _You_ know how to cook?”

“Of course I do!” Yui said, a bit too defensively. After a moment under her friend’s intense stare, her eyes flickered and her smile grew nervous. “...I just need to uh. Look up tips sometimes. There’s no space for such trivial information in this brain, ha ha…!”

Kyouko raised a brow and smirked, seeing right through that lie. Yui cleared her throat and changed the subject.

“...So! Uh, I guess you don’t like Doughnut-chan. You should have three other friends, right? Let’s see…”

Yui rubbed her chin in thought, trying to remember who they were. Honestly, she had been asking about them in a strategic order, but there was a boy so unremarkable in terms of his talent and history that she couldn’t remember his name… Ah well. Maybe she’d remember later. Now, who were the other two again...?

“Eh… I think Touko Fukawa was in your class, right? The novelist?”

Kyouko nodded, absently tapping her fingers on the table. “She’s incredibly… well, she keeps everyone as far away as possible. Comes off as a snob. Self-loathing issues. She has certainly been improving since the incident, however. Despite that, she’s not what you would expect from someone who writes romance novels.”

“...So is it true?”

Suspecting where this conversation was going, Kyouko sighed. “I have no romantic feelings for Fukawa-san.”

Surprisingly enough, Yui chuckled. “No, I wasn’t talking about that. I was talking about… y’know…” Glancing around, she leaned in and whispered.

“...Is she that serial killer? Genocider Syo?”

When Kyouko responded with nothing but a raised eyebrow and a slightly alarmed look, the brunette grinned sheepishly.

“I was doing my research while looking for you. I dunno, _I_ thought it was obvious.”

Sighing once more, Kyouko took a sip of her iced tea. She was a bit ashamed that she had to be reminded that yes, her oneesama was actually a pretty good detective. The younger detective waited a few extra moments before speaking again.

“...Yes, it’s true. We… try to control her. Often unsuccessfully, but… both personalities are our friends, so we don’t want to…”

When she trailed off, Yui nodded, understanding what her friend was saying.

“Ahhh… So it seems you haven’t grown out of your infatuation towards the most dangerous of criminals… Love truly conquers all…!”

“That was only _one_ time!”

Now Kyouko was the one attracting attention from nearby tables. Face burning a bright red, she slowly lowered herself back into her seat while Yui snickered across from her.

“...I don’t like her in that way.”

“I think it’s cute.”

“I’m telling the truth.”

“Okay, whatever you say!” Yui raised her hands and surrendered to the harsh glare across from her. She was still smiling mischieviously though.

“I’ll believe you _for now_ and then reevaluate after I ask you about the remaining two.” Satisfied, she nodded and continued. “How about Byakuya Togami? I know how you feel about blonds and I'm sure all that money is probably appealing--”

“He would have to _pay me_ if he wanted me to agree to go on a date with him.” She paused. “...He would have to pay me enough money to last me a lifetime for me to even _consider_ such an outing.”

“Yowch. I always knew you were a tsundere, Kyouko-chan, but that’s pretty intense. The hate sex must be _wild_.”

Kyouko sputtered on her tea while Yui calmly slurped her juice. The lavender-haired detective coughed violently a couple times before finally speaking up.

“Ex _cuse_ me?!”

“You heard me.”

“I certainly did! And that’s--!” Kyouko scoffed in disgust while Yui merely raised an eyebrow.

“Take your time. Don’t hurt yourself, hun.”

Kyouko huffed as her eyes narrowed. Suppressed anger was starting to bubble up - she never got to talk about these things to anyone. “That insufferable _brat_ \--! He has no respect for anyone and thinks he can do whatever he wants! The other day he _paid_ me to stand beside him at a party he had to be at. Who _does_ that? His personality is so foul that he is utterly incapable of making friends without waving his money around. Really, he should be grateful that the rest of us even tolerate him.”

A little startled by her rant, Yui opened her mouth to find no sound was coming out. She settled on a grin as a response. Kyouko let out an exasperated breath and collected herself before continuing calmly, as if the previous outburst had never happened.

“...Besides, the hate sex occurs not between Togami-kun and I, but between he and Fukawa-san.”

The grin flattened immediately. “What.”

“You heard me.”

“You’re joking.”

“I am.” Kyouko smiled, tracing the rim of her cup with a gloved finger. Yui let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and it felt like a horrible weight had been lifted. For a moment, at least.

“...Or am I?”

“ _Oh my god._ ” Yui put her face in her hands to cope with the secondhand embarrassment from the revelation. Her friend merely chuckled and sipped on her tea with an amused hum.

“...Where did you even pick that habit up?”

Yui peeked between the gaps in her fingers. “What habit?”

“Using English words in strictly non-English conversations.”

The brunette let her hands drop to the table. “I can start using another language if you want. ...Like the language of love.”

“Stop.”

“ _Ay, Kyouko, you make me heart go thump-thump._ ”

“I’m leaving.”

“No, wait! Okay, I’ll stop.” Yui couldn’t help but laugh when Kyouko sat back down. “I, uh, watch some anime sometimes. To answer your question.”

The silver-haired detective raised a brow and smiled. “Sometimes?”

“Joseph Joestar uses a lot of it and now I have mastered the art of using English words at the perfect mo-- hey, wait a minute, you smiled a bit more when I mentioned that name. ... _Holy shit_ , you watch Jojo?! Next you’re going to say, ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about’.”

And at roughly the same time: “I have no idea what you’re talking about--” And then Kyouko groaned, having walked right into Yui’s trap. The brunette’s grin only got wider and wider as this conversation continued. Kyouko could practically _feel_ the excitement radiating from her oneesama.

“You do! You absolutely _do_ know!”

“I…” Pausing, she furrowed her brow. Kyouko Kirigiri was never good at lying. She sighed in defeat. “...Naegi-kun got into it recently. I happened to be there when he watched the latest episode. That’s all I know about it.”

“And then you went home and marathoned the entire thing, right?”

“No.” Her eyes flickered away from Yui’s face. The brunette grinned even wider. Kyouko sighed again.

“...Asahina-san had been there as well. The next time the six of us met up, she forced us all to watch it together.”

(Kyouko wouldn’t admit to being the only one in her circle of friends - to her knowledge, at least - who was caught up with the manga as well. She wasn’t sure what had been more exhilarating: the series itself or having a _normal_ hobby for once.)

“Atta girl! And I bet even that grumpy ol’ Togami-kun liked it.” Kyouko’s smile confirmed her suspicions. “Man, Kyouko-chan, I really like your friends!”

“...I do too.”

After a sip of juice, Yui steepled her fingers, resting her arms on the table. She stared at her table companion intently.

“Our conversation has taken an unexpected turn, so I have to ask… if you had a Stand, what would it--”

“Oneesama, stop, that’s ridiculous. I don’t think about this stuff.” Violet eyes flickered towards the clock on her phone. “I need to be going now anyways.”

“Fiiiine, I’ll bother you about it next time we get together like this. Because I know you’re absolutely lying.” She grinned, innocently. Kyouko huffed.

As Kyouko rose from her seat, Yui was suddenly plagued by the feeling that she was forgetting something. The feeling that if she let her little Kyouko-chan leave now, she would regret it for the rest of her life…! What was it? What was so important…?

“...Aaaahh! Wait, Kyouko-chaaan!”

Lunging across the table, Yui flailed until she grabbed hold of the silver-haired girl’s arm and pulled her back. Startled, Kyouko tripped and barely caught herself using the cafe table.

“What… are you doing?” She struggled to stand up again for just a moment, but soon she was upright and looking as perfect and cool as ever. Yui laughed nervously under her narrowed gaze.

“I forgot something really important.”

When the brunette didn’t elaborate, Kyouko sighed. “Is it truly important? I told you earlier, I have a meeting with a client--”

“It’s _really_ important. Take a seat, because you’re not going anywhere until we finish this _very important_ business. I’ll handcuff you to the chair if I have to.”

Kyouko didn’t believe her oneesama carried around handcuffs. But then again, this was _Yui Samidare_. If she had handcuffs, she would definitely use them for a reason like this. Slowly, she found herself sitting back down.

“Yes… There was a very important reason I insisted we meet up today. I needed to get a certain piece of information out of you. Using my clever diversion tactics, I have finally succeeded! In the name of my-- _your_ grandfather, this mystery is solved!”

Kyouko wasn’t impressed with her friend’s show of theatrics.

“...Oneesama, don’t use another detective’s catchphrase. I would think someone like you would have one of your own by now--”

“You see, Kyouko-chan! This whole conversation was planned out from the start! I led it to this point, and you gave me the answer I was looking for.”

“ _Oneesama_ \--”

“I now know the answer, Kyouko-chan! I know _who your crush is_! Your crush is _Naegiiii_ \--”

Yui trailed off with a hum. “Uh. Naegiii… ...Naegi something. You called him Naegi-kun!”

“Samidare--”

“It’s him! He’s your crush! I can tell - my razor sharp detective instinct tells me this is true! Aaaand, now that I know, you can’t leave until you tell me all about him!”

Kyouko couldn’t believe this was happening. She had been stopped for _this_? With a sigh, she responded to Yui’s prompt with an inquiry of her own.

“...What’s his given name?”

“...Eh?”

The silver-haired detective smiled mischievously. “Why, you are the Great Detective Samidare Yui, are you not? Surely you must know his full name?”

“...Um! That’s irrelevant! I know--”

“I cannot tell you if you do not have all of the facts.” Triumphant, Kyouko rose from her seat once more, able to stand tall and proud now that she had _finally_ gained the upper hand in this conversation. “I am very sorry Detective Samidare, but if you can only give me a family name, I have no idea who you’re talking about. Why, I know several people with that name, you see.”

Defeated, Yui sprawled herself across the table in despair. She reached to tug on Kyouko’s sleeve, but the other coolly stepped back to avoid her grabby little fingers. “C’mon, Kyouko-chaaaan… Don’t be meaaan… Sit down and tell meeee...”

“My apologies, but I have somewhere I must be. Perhaps after you’ve gathered more evidence, we can chat again… Until next time, _o-nee-sa-ma_.”

Yui looked up to see Kyouko _wink_ \- damn her - in her direction before stalking out the cafe. Left alone to wallow in her defeat, the detective whined against the table’s cool surface.

She had no leads on who this “Naegi” could be _and_ she was stuck with the bill. _And_ she was all out of juice.

What a _wretched_ conclusion to the day.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [2 Fools](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4423976) by [le_american (zanudikkotik)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanudikkotik/pseuds/le_american)




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